Some women live in fear in their relationships because they feel their men will get bored, listless or just plain over being monogamous. You can find these women at your local gym, hair salon, nail salon or department store trying to be cute because they got to look good for their man. While I am down for looking good, these women are focused on the outward appearance. What would happen if we would work on our inside as much as we work on the outside?
Before I am a good wife, I have to be good to me. May sound selfish, but it is true. How can I uplift someone else if I am constantly dogging myself out? Our society teaches women to be selfless soldiers in the name of love, family and peace. I think that’s bullshit. At the end of the day, all you have is a tired, resentful woman who feels that nobody appreciates what she does. It takes sacrifice to be good to someone, but most people don’t see their gift right away. It takes years and a lot of reflection to be grateful to someone who is selfless and sacrifices. I believe that you are your best ally. If you don’t have your own back, why should anyone else run to your rescue? Having good family and friends are cool, but when you lie down at night, it’s just you and your thoughts.
I used to think that working on your inside (soul, spirit and emotional well-being) means sitting in church on Sunday morning. That is always good, but what about the rest of the week? But now I know that happiness truly comes from within. Not from compliments, good days or gooey desserts. Is happiness a lifestyle, a state of mind or emotion? Sometimes, I am not sure. Sure, I am grateful for a lot of things, but there will always be sad times, days and episodes of my life in which I can’t see the good in my life. Does that make me ungrateful, unhappy or just sad?
I’m having moments in my life in which I don’t know how to respond. Honesty isn’t always the best policy. Silence can be misconstrued as indifference. Kind words can sound cliché or condescending. Hell, I don’t even know what to say. Truth is, I don’t have a lot to say in normal circumstances. (It takes me a while to process information.) So, I definitely don’t know what to say when bombs are going off. Eventually, I hope to know what to say and maybe these people will take my words with love and understanding.
Photo by slodive.com